Resolution

Resolution has its Latin roots from resolvere, meaning "to loosen, undo, set free".  The English definition can also be defined as 'being determined or resolute".

At this juncture of the old and new years, resolution may well be one of the most popular words searched on Google.  Undeniably, determination is a prerequisite for fulfilling one's new year resolution, though it is impossible to trace all the people who have really met their goals when they look back.  Nor would we really know the sustainability even if they have their goals met initially.  The matter of the fact is that there are so many people out there who find it challenging to turn their resolutions into reality.  Perhaps the origin of the word may give us some useful pointers on this.  After all, when one can truly master the meaning of the word, the suggestion is that we should loosen and undo, that is, doing less so that we can set ourselves free.  But less of what, and free of what?  I guess it is less of our incessant thoughts and free of attachment to only what we desire.  Perhaps when you are contemplating on your new year resolution, you can reflect on how you can interpret it as "less is more".

My Wall

From wounds I had built an invisible wall
Wrapped around my heart to prevent a fall
Whence it was built I could not recall
All I knew was from feelings I ignored
Should I not tear it down and be adored
I shall lead a life I could not applaud
Now I know what it was for
I can truly connect with all

Wanderlust

Wanderlust means a strong desire to travel.  The word originates from the German words Wandern (to hike) and Lust (Desire).  Combing the two suffices together, it is translated as enjoyment of hiking although it is more commonly used when referring to enjoyment of wandering through some cultural experiences.

But in psychology, wanderlust is something else... it opens a chapter of self-discovery through unknown and unforeseen circumstances, or perhaps unfamiliar situations and cultures.  One can even go as far to say that it could be a breakaway from an unfulfilled status quo.  For me, it is an unplanned journey that does not have a defined destination.  It may even be travels on the mental or spiritual plane, whatever that takes me from A to B.  But although I have no destination in mind, I know I need to be well-equipped with the most important resource: the curiosity to let whatever that might unfold to present itself in just the way it is.  Maybe this is the Tao where fluidity and spontaneity can intertwine to bring the balance and harmony from within.

Response vs ReACTion

Response and reaction may not be words that we use every day, but they are both words that make up who we are almost every moment of our lives.  And thanks to them, they may give us the biggest clue to happiness.

Though the two words are used interchangeably, there is a remarkable difference.  I would urge you to challenge the conventional understanding of the two words. The common way to define response is that it is a reaction to a question, experience, or some other type of stimulus. Reaction, on the other hand, is an act in response to something.  Confusing, huh?  As a living organism, we humans cannot shy away from outside stimuli, may it be physical, mental or emotional.  Unless you are deficient in your sensory abilities, it is hard not to have something or someone hitting a raw nerve.  However, things might turn slightly more problematic when we allow that response to become a reaction.  That is to say, it is followed by us acting out.  In seconds, this action is derived from an innocent thought initially, which then gives rise a feeling and eventually to the actual doing. Whether it is a resistance towards yourself or others, it will create every obstacle to stand between peace and you. The skill for us to develop is to curb it at the juncture where it is still only a response.  We can do it simply by noticing and observing but not indulging and allowing it to develop into a lingering thought.  And if a thought does arise, do tell yourself that it is nothing but a thought - and most likely a very deluded thought that comes and goes.

Time - Friend or Foe?

We have all heard of the expressions of time: time is money, living on borrowed time, time is of the essence...time time time.  We have also heard from scientists, spiritual seekers and metaphysicist on how time is only a concept of this reality and that it represents the dualistic world which we are all in.  It is easy to understand this intellectually but our daily lives are indeed very often dictated by what is going on round the clock.  From a student taking his first test in school to an athlete trying to break his record, we are always trying to work within the limits of time, or more so, to beat it.  If not, why are people trying so hard to rejuvenate themselves and get hung up on the age-reversal process?

This is all fine when time is your ally and you are using it as means to progress or improve yourself.  However, it may not work so well when you crucify yourselves between two thieves - regrets for the past and worries of the future.  In this mundane world of ours, time is simply a tool without which we can have no human advancement.  But we have to believe that we are always at the right time at the right place with the right people, though it may not seem so at times.  When you can truly be in the here and now, and only in the here and now, joy is natural pheneonomen.   

Trust.    

Can Happiness be Synthesized?

Many enlightened ones have said that happiness cannot be sought, it is inherently there - a birthright.  That said, it is a matter of resuming to our original state of bliss and "remembering".  Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert's research work may shed some light on this topic.  He defines synthetic happiness as what we make when we don't get what we wanted, and natural happiness as what we get when we get what we wanted.

Apparently, according to Gilbert, they are mutually exclusive.  Natural happiness generate freedom when we get what we wanted, a point well understood and experienced by most.  When you can go to a restaurant and order whatever you would like to have without having to worry if you can afford it, that is natural happiness as a by-product of the freedom to choose.  But often as we become more abundant in an affluent society, we might have taken it for granted and thus causing us to be too complacent to connect with the feeling of happiness.

Such freedom is also associated with the freedom to change and decide.  However, it is also described as the enemy of synthetic happiness.  So what happens when we are stuck with no choice?  His experiments show that our human brains are well equipped with a psychological immune system to ensure that we can synthesise our happiness.  It seems that it is a natural adaptation that help us cope with things that we are stuck with, and that subjects were happier with the condition that they were in at the end.  In a nutshell, when we don't have choices we grow to like what we have got, more than what we originally predicted.  And this applies even to amnesiacs.

There are two things that are worth contemplating here: First of all, if natural happiness is attained when we can get what we wanted, why are there still so many people unhappy after they have married the love of their lives or have created the wealth beyond dreams?  What are the blockages to happiness?  Is it the loss of gratefulness?  Secondly, if we are born to be happy one way or the other, what is there to be sought beyond our DNA?  And why are we so afraid of the choices that we have made and thinking that there are better choices otherwise?

No doubt, the impact and intensity of those different choices are often way out of proportion, and our disproportionate worries always distort the true picture.

Words from the Shadow

My name is Shadow, nicknamed Dark
My counterpart is Light, with which I long to merge
I am shunned and he is lauded
I am a disowned child born by you and yet abhorrently denied

Disquietude is the state when we collide
Yet I yearn to rare my head
Just so I can be acknowledged and embraced
Love me please, I am here

Quid Pro Quo

Quid Pro Quo is "This For That" in Latin, or simply put, an advantage or favour given to someone as a result of what is done by another.  "Give and Take", "You scratch my back, I scratch your back.", etc...have the same implication which are all to have an equal exchange.  Sadly, this kind of philosophy is adopted in a lot of personal relationships in our contemporary world.  However, in truly interdependent relationships where the parties involved are dependent on each other, having this way of thinking can be detrimental.

First of all, by choosing to take up such an idea means that we have entered the relationships with conditions.  Such conditions often come with our own pre-set attitudes and character traits, which will serve to be filtered lens on how we see the other person.  Secondly, what are considered as good behaviours and kind gestures are subject to one's individual needs and perception.  Some may want to be left alone to recharge or reflect when they are stressed, while others might want to engage with their loved ones.  So what is done by someone may be considered as something unnecessary or redundant by others.  Frequently, this will make one party feels unappreciated or disappointed when how he or she has behaved is not what the other person desires, hence leading to a sense of inequality.

One key factor to foster growth in relationships is that they are derived with a mutual intent for personal development, may it be emotional, mental or spiritual.  Another must-have is curiosity that enable you to let go of presumption and judgement.  And if you can spice it up with empathy that allows you to create the space to feel what the person truly needs, that would do the trick.

Possibility vs Probability

Uncertainty can be a double-edged sword.  On one hand, it can allow you to go with the flow and surrender to the present moment.  On the other hand, it can seduce you into a world of possibilities and that could mean worrying about chances of mishaps.  How does one make the discernment?  This is about completely accepting the truth that security is not a given.  If you know that it is a fact of our existence, then it is just like accepting that you are born with two eyes and four limbs, would you be thinking all the time on how to have the extra eye or hand?

Moreover, what you are experiencing externally in the outer reality is a mirror of your inner world including your thoughts, feelings and memories both at a conscious and unconscious level.  If that is the case, then you are entirely in charge of your inner movie and busy multi-tasking as the script writer, director and actor.  Are you interested in using your attention, energy and emotions on things that are most probable rather than just weakly possible?  We are all in the same electromagnetic field that allow us to be our own creators, let's use it to our greatest advantage.

The Uncertainty Principal

There can only be one reason why we want certainty in life -- to gain security.  This is also something that most left-brainers who are more inclined towards logic and reasoning would hold onto dearly.  After all, seeing is believing for them.  Now that science is catching up with spirituality, perhaps we can step into the void and see how science can shed light on this, well at least in a layman's way.

In quantum physics, the Uncertainty Principal was discovered by the German physicist Werner Heisenberg in 1927.  It states that the position and the velocity of an object cannot be measured precisely at the same time, even in theory.  An accurate measurement of one observable involves a relatively large uncertainty in the measurement of the other.  This completely nullifies the concept of exact position and exact velocity.  However, our ordinary experiences does not illustrate any clue to this as the uncertainties implies by this principal for ordinary objects are too small and minute to be observed.  This principal was derived from the fact that everything in the universe behaves both like a particle and a wave at the same time, and arises out of what is happening in the realm of subatomic dimension.  So I presume that for ordinary human beings this principal is not something that you can validate when someone cut your queue while you are paying at the supermarket.

Scientific jargons aside, since exactness can never be obtained in a subtle sense, what does it tell us about our mundane life?  What relevance does this have on the resistance that we often face day-to-day?  Well, this uncertainty seems to be so negligible that we have been blinded by the truth.  Electrons, or rather, any universal phenomena simply do not permit us to acquire knowledge of details beyond a certain level of approximation.  Yet, we spend most time in our lives insisting on knowing and knowing more.  The gravitation towards conclusions creates the loss of the presence when our mental resources are all invested in our search.  And if we cannot know the "not-knowable", we often live in fear and disillusion.

Treat the Uncertainty Principal as an invitation from the cosmos to accept and embrace the not-knowing.  After all, it is always easier to say "I don't know" when you really can't or not allowed to know.

East Meets West

Tai Sui (or God of the Year) is a Chinese term for the stars directly opposite the planet Jupiter.  They were kind of artificially created during the mid to late Warring States period (475-221 BC) hundreds of years before Jupiter was even discovered by Galileo.  During each year of the cycle, the stars were personalised as a Heavenly General, the duty of which is to assist in the mortal world.  Worshipped as deities, each year there are those people whose birth sign or other features clash with the deity of the year.  One is said to be negatively impacted in those years which has the same Chinese horoscope that he or she was born in, and this will repeat itself every 12 years.  It is described to be typically a year subject to obstacles, emotional instability and misfortune.  The remedy?  They are advised to conduct a prayer session and some ceremonial ritual to propitiate the deity, make peace and hopefully reverse their luck!

Although these are humanly created stars, the mechanism of this totally coincide with the motion of Jupiter which also has a roughly 12-year orbital cycle.  But in Western astrology, this orbital cycle is interpreted quite differently.  Jupiter is named after the Roman God, which is the head of the gods and such a connotation already sets a very different tone.  The return of Juiter every 12 years symbolises a time of growth and expansion.  It is about luck, generosity, abundance, freedom, etc...  Whilst it could be quite overwhelming, it offers new horizons and adventure in a very optimistic way.  That is, of course, if one is ready to jump in and move forward.  For all personal growth implies breaking from old structure and making progressive changes.

Whether you are into metaphysics or not, the way we approach this inevitable energetic cycle is an example of our choice of seeing our lives as half empty or half-full.  There are always some deep-seated beliefs in every culture that shape our worldview.  Are you audacious enough to be de-conditoned from such beliefs that may not serve you anymore?

Freedom and Security

If you were to ask someone, "Would you want to have freedom or security?"  Most people would face a dilemma on what to pick and may greedily say, "Both!"

The matter of the fact is that freedom and security are mutually exclusive.  The need for security is like a chameleon and never fails to amuse us.  It can appear in so many different facets.  Sometimes it is our yearning of security from material gain, other times it is security from relationships, and of course there is also our physical health.  Whatever it is, it all boils down to our survival instinct.  The more secured we feel, the more we are assured of our survival.  Yet there are always small clauses that come with having security, the fine print of which is overlooked by many.  Firstly, you can never satisfy the desire for security, as there is nothing called "enough" for you to conclude and say that "I feel 100% secured and I don't need it anymore."  In fact, this hungry beast is quite a handful, the bigger it gets, the more it wants to be fed.  Secondly, security always comes with a price tag: freedom.  This inverse relationship suggests that the more secured you feel, the less free you are.  Why?  When you are falsely believing that you are secured, you often lose sight of what is really present and become busy chasing after the next moment.  This is to coax your mind into thinking that you have to continue to do the "right" things to get you well-covered so that you can sustain that feeling of security.  Is this really what freedom is?

There is, in truth, no such thing as security.  Uncertainty is the only thing we have as humans and you can never be sure of how things will turn out.  The only thing that you can be sure is:  It is always for your highest good, and the gem is the lesson you learn from every experience you have.  The realisation of this and going with the flow is thus, true freedom.

The S-word ("Should")

When was the first and last time that you used or heard the word "should"?  For the answer to the first part, it is likely to be after you learned to mumble "mama" or "dada" at infancy.  For the second part to the question, perhaps it was five minutes ago.  So often we are telling ourselves or others what should be done or should have been done, not realising that once we utter these words, we are instantaneously putting ourselves in a split position and at a level of resistance.  "Should" implies that there is a "should not" and the duality of which makes us lose focus of what is truly happening in reality and in real-time.  More so, it always drives us away from the present moment, gives us a flashback to what has happened and makes you think how you wish the scenario would be different if you were to choose again.

The truth is: all things happen for a reason, and all things can ONLY happen if the conditions are present in a phenomenological way.  Any missing piece will not make the puzzle complete.  So how could anything happen in a different way?  On the other hand, if all the necessary conditions exist, the event will take place by itself and any outcome is a natural by-product.

Maybe this is another way to say that "Thinking less is More"?

Pollyanna Principal

Pollyanna is a best-selling novel and a classic of children's literature in 1913 by Eleanor H. Porter.  A quick summary on the plot is that a young orphan named Pollyanna Whittier goes to live with her rich but stern spinster Aunt Polly.  Pollyanna has naturally adopted a positive and optimistic attitude from his father which she calls "the Glad Game".  The core of the game is to find something to be glad about in every situation, no matter how adverse it may be.  Looking at the good side of things as her way of life and philosophy, she has brought joy and sunshine to a very dispirited town New England, and indeed to her aunt.

Deriving from this story which then turned out to be a successful film from Walt Disney Productions, the Pollyanna Principal is the tendency for people to remember pleasant things more than the unpleasant ones.  This is not hard to understand as people naturally expose themselves to positive stimuli and avoid those that are negative and threatening.  Some researchers indicated that at the subconscious level, the individual would like to focus and retain the optimistic.  Yet consciously, the reverse is true.

As the conscious mind commands and the subconscious obeys, the former often overrides.  The layers of critical-thought functions of the conscious mind becomes the facade to our subconscious which has always been the gateway to our powerful and pure awareness.  Another analogy is that the conscious mind is the gardener and the subconscious the garden, and we do have a choice to grow flowers or weeds in the garden of our lives.  Then perhaps it is time for us to consciously re-examine some of our thoughts, actions and behaviours and sow new seeds?

How to Develop Compassion in 5 Seconds

Just like many young children, my favourite game when I was a kid was the game of pretend.  I was the teacher, the doctor, the flight attendant, the salesperson, and many other professions.  Perhaps that have equipped me with some skills to switch roles instantaneously without changing into any Halloween costumes.

Cultivating compassion is very similar, but with one extra step - feeling for others.  Regardless of one's religious beliefs, a compassionate person would at the very least has a concern for the suffering of others and wishing them to be happy.  The most vital ingredient for compassion is empathy, that is, to understand and share the feelings of others.  But it is always easier to be empathetic towards people you love and care about, and not so when you are neutral to or dislike them.  How about stretching your imagination a little and try out this shortcut: Visualise that you were that person suffering and feel how it would be like if you were going through what he or she is experiencing.  Is your judgement towards that person or issue any different?  Can you sort of see where he or she comes from and thus have a slightly different perspective?

Spiritual idealisation is not about reading books and borrowing concepts from others, but realising from the mundane and practicing from day to day life.  More so, it's not about fixing and finding solution.  Often what is involved is simply understanding and accepting with pure awareness, and that is the same whether it is for others or ourselves.  Isn't this something that we were already doing when we were young but again have chosen to forget with the deep conditioning that comes with maturing?

The Seeker and the Sought

Seek no more
For there is no lack
Lack is an illusion
Brought by the baffled mind
So be not the seeker 
But the sought
And see through the why for what you seek
Only to know the seeker and the sought
is all and one, and one and all

Cluedo: The Classic Spiritual Game

There are only three types of events that could take place in our lives - the good, the bad and the neutral.  Such events often give rise to all sorts of emotions: joy sorrow, anger, fear... well, the usual template.  And we associate our emotions with those events and interpret them based on how we perceive the world.  So we typically will blame someone or ourselves one way or the other and believe that whatever that has happened is the root of all evil.

This is where the fun begins, if and only if you dare to peel off the layers and reveal the core.  It is never the incident, activity, or the event itself.  Instead of focusing of what has happened, try to ask yourself how you feel about it, and where does this feeling come from?  What are you believing that makes me own the feeling?  What assumptions do you have?

Now, have you got some clues on who the murderer is?  Maybe we have been chasing after the wrong culprits ever too often.

Why Bother with Spirituality?

Some people think that spiritual practice is for the outsiders or a marginalized group of the population, and that it relates to other things "out there" and definitely not a solution to how to make ends meet.  In others words, there is no relevance for them.

It will be refreshing if we can demystify things a little here, or at the very least allow us to understand spirituality better.  Firstly, there is really nothing that makes the lifestyle of a spiritual person different in terms of what he does or maybe even encounters.  He still has the thoughts and emotions of a layperson and faces the same issues in the mundane life of any ordinary man.  The contrast, lies in the attitude and perspective towards life, people and experiences.  He is still be able to experience and enjoy life without needing to hide in a cave.  And more importantly, the objective of any spiritual practice is to be free from suffering, and we as human beings all have an aversion and intolerance to that, but are just unable to alleviate ours with clarity and awareness.  The removal of our filtered lens through such practice would allow us to achieve that, and incidentally, more.

So not only do we all have relevance to spiritual practice, we all have the common ground on why we need to embark on such a journey.  So why would we want to wait until the time that we face our biggest limitation in life to do so, that is, our last breath?

Intelligence vs Wisdom

Intelligence, or commonly referred to as I.Q., is very much something that we are innately born with.  The good news is: we are all born with some, no matter how little.  But although the world is flooded with resources and exercises which claim to increase one's brainpower and thus intelligence, there are limits to how much this can be boosted, if any.

Wisdom, on the other hand, is not correlated with conventional knowledge.  It may encompass many of the other quotients that people have invented.  And the better news is: it can be developed and cultivated with your choice of going all the way from being an apprentice to a veteran.

Wise people use the macro environment to deal with issues in life, versus seeing the world as a microcosm and being egocentric.  They take ownership of their own well-being and are not at the mercy of others.  They allow themselves and others to be vulnerable whilst still loving unconditionally.  Wise people enjoy every breath and every moment of life and yet see through impermanence and remain unattached.  They see the values of others as important as theirs and recognise equanimity without judgement.  They have the right view to do things versus doing the right thing in their view...

Easier said than done?  Well, wise people also believe that we become what we think.  So think "doable".

How Are You?

"How are you?" is probably the most frequently asked question when we greet someone.  It is as basic as Hello!" or "Hi!".  Yet few really explore the intent behind this simple enquiry.  Are we really concerned with how that person across us feels?  Are we really interested in his or her well-being?  Do we really wish that person the best of his or her emotional and mental states?

And when we are responding to the very same question, how many times have we just said "I am fine." or "Very well, thank you!" so as to complete the loop like our first lesson in a foreign language.  Or have we really asked ourselves how we are really doing?

Autistic people often cannot interpret emotional and social cues (known as social-emotional agnosia).  This is caused by the abnormal functioning of the amygdala which governs our emotions, and renders them unable to perceive facial expression, body language or voice intonation.  These social deficits may lead to difficulties in determining the emotional significance of external social events, thus making them appear as "aloof" or "remote".   A simple question like "How are you?" befuddles them and may also sounds foreign and irrelevant.

But when we are asking this simple question with a lack of meaning and no intent of wishing the other person to be happy and well, then maybe we are the ones who own the deficits and are not being emotional sensitive.  After all, it is the intent of an action that drives everything.  So let us try to add a dose of compassion when we are next asking "How are you?".

Perception and Anti-ageing

All living beings have to age and deteriorate given time, and there is no exemption for man.  It is simply an existential phenomenon.  Whilst recognizing that, we still wish to have a life that we can look back with fulfilment.  Some will define this fulfilment in a worldly way or relate it to so-called success in life.  I am referring to spiritual fulfilment here.  We are not only bio-machines but individual beings that encompass mind, body and spirit; and all levels are both interconnected and interrelated.  In other words, an individual cannot be spiritually fulfilled if there are unresolved emotional or mental patterns that are held up in the body and in the mind.

We all come with a different purpose and mission in life, through which we create our own storyline and find meaning out of it.  Unique as we are, ironically we also come with an identical exercise - to know ourselves.  It is by understanding ourselves that we can overcome or re-negotiate with our innate defence mechanisms.  When you are willing to do it in a non-judgemental way, there will always be some aspects of you that are awaiting your discovery and acknowledgement.  Each time that you find a new facet, a whole new relationship with yourself is developed - always more invigorating and yet peaceful.  And with complete openness every discovery will give rise to a new perspective.  All these new perspectives and learning over time will foster spiritual growth, which incidentally will also make us feel more youthful.  This is the magical formula for rejuvenation as we unload our baggages throughout our life journey.  Well, at least your shoulders will thank you for that.

Flow

Flow to Here, Flow to Now
Now is Past, Future is Now
As it was, As it is, As it will be
Be it was, be it is, be it will be
Be

Con-fusion

Confusion makes us feel lost, perplexed, bewildered, and sometimes overwhelmed.  There is always some sort of decision-making happening that lead us to a sense of being split, as if you are right in the middle of a tug of war.  It is often underpinned by fear, for the decisions involved will certainly involves some degree of risk.  And when we fail to see the pros of our options, we may zoom in and focus on what we have to forgo in each scenario.  It could be very unsettling that makes us ungrounded and off-centred.

But are these feelings derived more from the connotation of the word?  Or are we observing our "confusion' with curiosity and letting it guide us to what this will lead to?  The prefix "con" has its Latin root which means "with or together", and "confusion" is "the process of joining two or more things to from a single entity".  So next time when you feel confused, how about pretending to be an alchemist and watch the mundane ordeals transmuted into great opportunities in life?

Opposite of Déjà Vu

In psychology, there is a term called jamais vu (literally means "never seen" as opposed to "already seen" in déjà vu).  It is the phenomenon of experiencing a familiar situation but has the impression of seeing it for the first time.  So objects and people who are seemingly recognisable become completely strange for a few minutes.  This condition is mysterious in a way that it happens suddenly and without obvious causes, but there are not any significant consequences either as everything usually goes back to normal after some time.  And because jamais vu cannot be created artificially or simulated in the laboratory, it is difficult for scientists to study and fully understand these phenomena.

Here is the interesting part: there is a tendency to explain that jamais vu is due to some inconsistencies in the interaction between our memory and the perception of information.  So whilst our perception is often caused by our distorted memory, jamais vu may actually provide us with an opportunity to challenge the validity of our memory, and naturally, our perception.  Moreover, if jamais vu can only apply to here and now, maybe it's a kind reminder that all we have is the present moment.

If you experience life in the eyes of jamais vu, something magical will happen, just like a baby taking his very first bite of ice-cream or the first time you tenderly look into your lover's eyes.  Can we allow ourselves to re-engage with novelty?

Memories - the Map is not the Territory

Humans have struggled to define what memory is.  Our brains are too intricate and complex for us to use contemporary science to truly crack the code.  Some say that memory is the the modification of behaviour by experience.  But is it true?  How often do you really change your behaviour (hopefully for the better) based on what you have learned from the past?  Alternatively, the American neurophysiologist Ralph W. Gerard advocates that memory has to make an impression by an experience and that some record of this impression is retained for the re-entry of this record into consciousness.  In other words, it includes some kind of encoding, storage and retrieval.  But is it a 100% foolproof process?  Or do we all confabulate to a certain extent?

A lot of our memories are put together like a patchwork tapestry composed of snippets or episodes wth associated emotions on the experiences or images.  And the emotions that allow us to anchor to these memories are primarily based on our perception and often the result of our distorted reality.  Like those funhouse mirrors in carnivals, it is very far off from an accurate representation of the true picture.  But what it is true is its reflective function of your mind, which is where the distortion comes from.

Plus, if the present moment is what we only have in the here and now, how would memories serve us?  Not to mention that they could be fake?

Spiritual Bypassing

Spiritual bypassing is a term coined by American psychologist John Welwood some 30 years ago when people use spiritual beliefs and practices to avoid dealing with their painful feelings or unresolved emotional wounds.   Frequently they use the goal of  "enlightenment" to cut themselves off from reality, hoping that this will limit their exposure to potential negativity.

In its purest sense, spirituality can only lead to greater connection with ourselves, with the community, and eventually with the divine source.  Yet for the spiritual bypassers, the dismissal of one's own feelings, states and conditions often accentuate the gap with the outside world.  Their justification of practising the so-called ultimate truth might disparage or dismiss human needs and engagement.

And this is not just a phenomenon, sidestepping their own issues could be hazardous in multiple ways: 1) Feeding one's pride or putting the self on moral high ground and assuming superiority.  2) Projecting our deep yearnings upon others or acting out the wounding in other ways. 3) Difficulty in developing true compassion because one fails to cultivate empathy or relate to other members in the society.  4) Manifesting the repressed pain or suffering in a physiological way when there is no outlet.

While we are here to respect individuality, we are not so different from each other after all.  This is true whether we see it from the point of our basic human needs or  biological makeup in a scientific way.  Whatever way you choose to live, the interdependency and interconnectedness of the universe is an undeniably fact.  As human beings, we are born to bond and attach before we can learn to detach.  Otherwise, the oneness which is so often labelled on the foreheads of some new age practitioners will become a fallacy.

EmBODYment - Let Your Body Speak

There are a great number of modalities from both the Eastern and Western teachings that help us to get connected with our thoughts and emotions.  But many of them stay at a cognitive level which might require a seasoned practitioner to bring it down to a more solid experience.  So often we have heard people saying "Speak up your mind!"  But what about your body?  Your body is the most complicated machine that works day in day out, 24/7, carrying out your commands.  But have you given this biomachine with 37.2 trillion cells a chance to speak?  Is that stiffness at your neck when you are having a fight with your partner or that lower back pain when you are worrying about money a mere coincidence?  Your body is the messenger of your soul the way Hermes is the messenger of Zeus.  At least, there are some profound "traits" that are similar: quick, intelligent, clever, loyal and faithful.

If you still find this a foreign idea, try this: Find a quiet environment and close your eyes.  Use your breath to stay present.  Be totally aware of any physical contact you might have with the chair if you are sitting down, or with the environment.  Think of an incident that you are happy or sad about, but just let it appear without analysing or judging it.  Now with curiosity, see what your physical sensations are.  (Are there any elevated heart rate?  Pulsations? Twitches?)  Do you have any feelings coming up?  How about images?  Or thoughts?

Such an ability to pay attention to ourselves is our body sense.  Instead of thinking about yourself, you are truly feeling yourself.  It is this engagement and spontaneity that allow us to live in the present moment, and open the door to physical and mental health.

Fight, Flight or FREEZE

Most people have heard of the fight or flight response which occurs when we are under threat.  And those who understand such a response know that one will either fight against the adverse situation, or outrun it if you view the antagonistic force as too powerful to apprehend.  But studies from neurologists and psychologists are adding a new dimension to this field, and have provided great insights on the topic.  It is the freeze response which takes place when a situation confronting an individual is beyond one's coping capabilities.  That is, one will paralyse in fear.  This reaction is by default what we have concluded within seconds and heartbeats (if not less).  Thanks to our animal instinct from the part of our triune brain referred to as the reptilian brain.  (The other two parts are the limbic brain who governs our emotions and the neocortex conferring the ability for thought, perception and reasoning.)

That said, it is almost as if we were like animals experiencing attacks and we are going through panic and horror (anyone who has watched NatGeo with a lion chasing  a baby gazelle will have some ideas on what this is all about).  We being bio-animals are really in a pretty helpless state at the mercy of our autonomic nervous system.  But what is worrying is whether we are aware of this automated response of ours and know how to release it.  Animals do!  They involuntarily shudder and shiver after their immobilisation as a way to heal their "post-trauma".  But how about us humans?  We may be able to numb ourselves by being physically, mentally or emotionally immobilised, and may even choose to dissociate with the experience unconsciously afterwards.  But it is still solidly embedded in our nervous system waiting for you to embrace it one day and have it healthily discharged.  Unless we are able to thaw out what was frozen, may it be fear, anxiety or panic,  our day-to-day life will provide the triggers for those emotions to become "fresh" and alive, with the cycle beginning over and over again.

Maybe it is time for you to check the sell-by dates of any residual energy that no longer serves you anymore.

(For those who are interested in finding out more about the variety of trauma release methods, please refer to publications by trauma experts Peter Levine and Robert Scaer.)

T-R-A-U-M-A

Trauma -- The Real Awakening Unmasking My Astoundment

I have learned so much about trauma the past few months that I have cultivated a relationship with myself at another level.  I feel that there is a part of me that has re-entered my life, a part that was so tender, so raw, so authentic and yet so denied by me.  I had always understood trauma in quite a shallow way.  I have never experienced physical abuse, have never survived a natural disaster, nor attacked by terrorists.  So why would I be traumatised?  I thought.  If your understanding of trauma is like the past me, then may I take the liberty to clarify it here.  Here is a more precise definition of trauma championed by neurologist Robert Scaer: "Trauma is defined as any negative life event that occurs in a position of relative helplessness".  Now, don't we all have some of these happenings?  From a pacifier not being put in our mouth fast enough when you were a crying toddler, to that vicious bully constantly picking on you when you were at primary...

The key is, we are not here to dissociate with or to detach from trauma, but rather to embrace and engage with it wholeheartedly. It could be the biggest awakening from your reality.  

No trauma, No life; Know trauma, Know life.

Free Will

In 1985 neuroscientist Benjamin Libet did a controversial experiment by wiring up subjects to an EEG machine measuring brain activities via electrodes.  He then asked them to perform a simple hand movement when they felt like it.  He also got them to record the time of which they made a conscious decision to move their hands.  Disconcertingly Libet found that the brain activities initiating the hand movement occurred hundred of milliseconds before the conscious decision was reported.  Does that really imply that the subjects became aware of such a conscious decision only after it had already been made?  Does that mean that human behaviour is controlled by neurobiology and environment, and that free will does not exist?  What about more complex decisions that requires logic and reasoning?  Can there be any counteraction, albeit micro, that may offset such decisions?

There are indeed too many loopholes in past studies that renders this a highly debatable topic.  And the subject of whether free will exists or not will remain a philosophical quagmire.  But does it matter whether we can actually "prove" free will?  What matters is whether you BELIEVE that you have the free will rather than you have it or not.  The crux of the matter is, are you "free", and hence having the freedom on how you relate to events, outcome and actions?  Believing you are "free" naturally leads us to act as though we are, and our attitudes and mindset are the agent of change.  As the French mathematician Descartes succinctly put it: "I think therefore I am."  But I would rather be in control of my thoughts and say, "I AM therefore I think."

Being Whole

The market is flooded with self-help books nowadays, often preaching positivity and "laws"  on how you can attract what you desire.  The thing is, if you are committed to what these books are trying to disseminate, you may realise that they do work and you do get you what you want!  Yet is this all?  Leading a positive mindset and a wish-fulfilling life?

Well this is at best only 50% of the equation.  With the way that we are raised and how we perceive the world, anything related to "pain, "suffering", ""shadow" etc generally have a negative connotation and are denied by the society, and worse still, ourselves.  We are so deeply conditioned into believing that negative emotions and experiences should be compartmentalised, perhaps even controlled, suppressed, repressed or exiled.

Being positive does not equate to being whole and authentic.  Rather, wholeness is achieved by embracing whatever emotions and feelings that arise in us.  As the title of Mark Epstein's book suggests,  it's by "Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart".  Fulfilment through feeding and strengthening our ego can only lead to more dissatisfaction, and hence, suffering.

Freedom 201

Meaning of Freedom: "The power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants" (Oxford Dictionary)

But I am not talking about freedom defined in a conventional way, rather it is inner freedom in a spiritual sense that is taking centre stage here.  So how does this alternative definition relate to this inner freedom that I am referring to?

We feel trapped and inhibited not because we cannot say what we want or do what we wish in an external way.  Rather, we are enslaved when we do not create the space for ourselves.  We need to allow our own bodies to slow down, our inner voice to speak up, and our innermost thoughts to uncover.  This is real freedom.  We are never just our personae, and there is so much more in us than the social facade.  Yet we tend to be so deeply conditioned by people around us the moment we bid farewell to our umbilical cord, luring us to believe that is who we are.

Do yourself, your cells, your psyche a favour by claiming back your authenticity.  And the first step?  Be vulnerable.

Freedom 101

Who doesn't want to be happy?  From a screaming baby to a frail old man, and there is certainly one thing in common with them: their deepest yearning to be happy and be free from suffering.  But what does happiness bring us?  Is it a sense of fulfilment, a feeling of bliss or an adrenaline high?  Ask a thousand people and you will have more than a thousand answers, but one thing is generic in mankind -- the underpinning desire to be free.  So maybe after all it is more freedom that we are desperately seeking for rather than happiness. 

If a sprinkle of pixie dust can really bring you magic, what would you ask for?  Whether you want a great relationship, loads of good fortune, a successful career, eternal youth or a bar of chocolate, it boils down to being able to choose what you want to do and how you want your true self to be.

If so, how about starting to create the choices right now and right at this instant?  Perhaps at the very least by changing your mindset and attitude as a first step...

Concepts or Constraints

Last night, I went to a meditation workshop and the teacher commented that both the understanding of concepts and the actual meditation are significant, with the former deepening the practice of the latter.  The next question from the audience was: "So teacher, when do we drop the concepts?"  Here is my two cents:  Spiritual practice is never a linear equation, or one will exactly fall into the pitfalls of clinging onto concepts.  The tendency will be to attach more meaning to the results rather than to see the true nature they can bear.

To know if you are consumed by concepts, try to quiet your mind and use your body senses as the reference.  With the day to day challenges, can you still feel peace, calmness and lightness within yourself?  If yes, then I would like to congratulate you as it is very likely that you are using wisdom to observe, investigate and research the concepts.  And maybe even bringing such concepts from your mind to your heart and turning them into your own experiences.  The observer and the observed thus become one.

After all, your body is your loyal messenger that never lies to you, but your mind often does.  Have you been listening to your body enough?  Are you the driver of your mind or is your mind driving you (nuts)?

Spiritual Beings Having a Human Experience

Spirituality has always meant different things to different people.  Some equate it with their religious faith, some make it the quest of a lifetime (or more), yet some find it something out there.  And for me, if spirituality cannot be explained in some easy words, it just defies human understanding.  Simply put: It's finding our way home, tapping into our own consciousness and remembering who we are.  It is precisely through this connection with yourself that you can connect with other living beings, and eventually, the Source.  And this connection all happens with your very own self-realisation before you can ultimately re-discover the Source.

If you ever have the slightest thought of why you were created and what you were born to do, then whether you know it or not, you have already embarked on your spiritual journey.

Given that it is Easter holiday now, I might want to end this briefly mentioning resurrection.  Metaphysically, resurrection is the restoring of mind and body to their original undying state.  Perhaps it's time that we wake up to our spiritual amnesia and be mindful again about our true purpose here.  

Blessings to you on your journey!

P.S.  More to follow on consciousness, so stay tuned...

Pixie's Journal is Born!

Today is March 21, 2016!  It is the birth of Pixie's Journal, and what a coincidence that it is also the first day of Aries - the Spring equinox, the first sign in the new zodiacal year, and thus the new beginnings. 

The young ram is adventurous, enthusiastic and vibrant.  The Arian is a true pioneer both in thought and action, and open to new ideas and freedom.  Often, it may coerce others to look at themselves in a new way.  Aren't these also some of the objectives of this blog?  It is born out of one commitment to myself: to share my collection of spiritual, or rather, human experiences.  If it triggers something in you whether it is a thought, feeling or even judgement while reading it, my purpose is met.  

So, are you ready to remove your filtered lens, today?