Childhood and Love Partners

Most of us yearn for an intimate and profound relationship with our love partners, one in which both parties can be interdependent to each other and grow together emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  Yet not everyone succeeds.  Unconsciously, we as human beings are also inclined to search for love that is familiar to us.  This is the kind of love experienced by us when we are nurtured by our parents or caregivers.  Growing up, we might perceive it being associated with their positive or negative traits based on our emotional response to their behaviours.  Whether it is a parent or caregiver, the wounds inflicted on us might not be intentional, but rather a consequence of the parent's or caregiver's own wounds.  Moreover, they are often our perceptions and may not be backed by any logical reasoning.  By searching for this familiarity, we may not realise how it has affected our choice of partners.  To heal from our wounds, we need to see where the psychological wounding stems from and develop the validation and empathy for our partners by mirroring their feelings.  If we truly believe that we are born whole and complete to begin with, our connection with our partners can provide the deepest insight for us to heal from our own trauma and be kinder to ourselves. 

Modern Stocism

When someone is labelled as stoic, it may not be the most flattering description.  It may suggest someone being emotionless and with a stony kind of calm.  Or someone who suppresses his feelings and endures silently.  But is it what stoicism suggest?  Stoicism has been around for thousand of years and is an ancient school of philosophy popularised by the Greeks and Romans.  Although the contemporary study of it may not be institutionalised like the way it was millennia ago, there is nonetheless a lot of relevance to the way of life in any era.  In fact, it deserves even more weight in the modern world given the stress that comes with evolution and advancement.  As the Stoic philosopher Seneca succinctly put it, "it does not matter what you bear but how you bear it."  In other words, embracing emotions is one thing but building fortitude and self-control in overcoming destructive emotions is another.  Adversity is part of being a human, yet we can choose to suffer or not.  We can gain our power back by realising that it is our reactions to situations that pain us and not the situations themselves.  After all, there are many things in life that are not within our control.  Having clarity and unbiased thinking allow us to understand the intricate web of cause and effect and the rational structure of the universe.  If we can harness our willpower and courage to fill our lives with meaning, we can rise above our predicament even in the bleakest days.

The Wisdom of the Hopi

Imagine if there is no concept of time, how would life be?  To experience spatio-temporal unity maybe something very remote and even unimaginable.  But on the contrary, could the reality that we are living in an imagined bubble?  Could it be the case that the Hopi people know something we do not?   

The Hopi are a Native American tribe who primarily live in northeastern Arizona.  Although the current population is probably less than 19,000, their beliefs in spirituality are ancient. They have long adopted a holistic way to wellness and see humans composing of mind, body and spirit.  Harmony is achieved through connecting with all creations and having goodness in your heart.  While this may not be that much of a difference to any older civilisation, one intriguing discovery is that the Hopi language has no reference to the past and future, in any words or grammatical expression.  Being a tenseless language and having no words that correspond to the English word “time”, it makes people wonder if the Hopi people have any concept of it.  I do choose to believe that the wisdom of Hopi people allows them to realise that time is indeed a mental construct.  They have made a choice a long while back not to be bounded by language which will perpetually use words to limit us by time and space, and hence memories.  The derivatives of which can only be regrets, worries, separation and judgement.