Most of us yearn for an intimate and profound relationship with our love partners, one in which both parties can be interdependent to each other and grow together emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Yet not everyone succeeds. Unconsciously, we as human beings are also inclined to search for love that is familiar to us. This is the kind of love experienced by us when we are nurtured by our parents or caregivers. Growing up, we might perceive it being associated with their positive or negative traits based on our emotional response to their behaviours. Whether it is a parent or caregiver, the wounds inflicted on us might not be intentional, but rather a consequence of the parent's or caregiver's own wounds. Moreover, they are often our perceptions and may not be backed by any logical reasoning. By searching for this familiarity, we may not realise how it has affected our choice of partners. To heal from our wounds, we need to see where the psychological wounding stems from and develop the validation and empathy for our partners by mirroring their feelings. If we truly believe that we are born whole and complete to begin with, our connection with our partners can provide the deepest insight for us to heal from our own trauma and be kinder to ourselves.
No comments:
Post a Comment