To Scratch or Not to Scratch

An itch is a sensation that causes the desire or reflex to scratch.  From many aspects, it is analogous to human emotions.  To a lot of people, an emotional response is indeed a reflex and can be caused by an external stimulant or internally by one's emotional wave.  Likewise, an itch can be triggered by something outside your body such as a mosquito bite, or by something within the system like eczema.  The reflex also leads us to have a strong need to act out, like crying when sad or screaming when angry.  This is like our need to alleviate the discomfort of itchiness by scratching.  Though it feels good, many researchers claim that scratching actually triggers very mild pain in your skin.  You are temporarily distracted when your nerve cells tell your brain that something hurts.  Pain-fighting serotonin is thus released as a result of the mild soreness from scratching, so the more you scratch the more you itch.  The vicious cycle of itching and scratching is parallel to the cycle of our emotional expression whereby the more you let out your rage, the more angry you may get.

Whether it is an itch or a negative emotion, there is a human need to remove it and relieve one self by eliminating or reducing the extent of it.  However, the act of scratching is also hedonic, as one would also enjoy the sensation of scratching and finds it highly pleasurable.  It seems that we are motivated to scratch because of the reward of pleasure.  This can be troublesome though when chronic scratching leads to open wounds that have become worse than the initial itch.  By the same token, venting and catharsis could be drug-like as the brain chemicals reinforce the behaviour.  If you are used to blowing off steam, you may become dependent on it.  Whether we are referring to a physical or emotional itch, it is still part of a decision-making process and there is indeed no absolute need to have a reaction or response to everything in life.  And for those with challenges in exercising self-control, avoiding "itch triggers" and understanding what sets you off would help to restrain unacceptable impulses from being expressed in detrimental ways.

I Feel xxx Because...

No one enjoys negative emotions and we are often so eager to transform them.  But rather than being caught up with the contributing factors that may result in self-blame or blame of others, it is most effective when you can find out the mental constructs being them.  Of course, there are many tactics that one can employ, such as change of mindset or deep breathing. But those can only give us temporary cessation of pain and perhaps peace of mind in the short term.  If you are willing to contemplate on it, you will realise that the afflicted emotion can only be justified when it is supported by our thoughts, which in turn are derived from our own beliefs and assumptions.  When we distance from it and gently investigate, we will learn to understand the constructs behind it.  Very clearly we have chosen a belief that no longer serves us and that an alternative viewpoint can always be adopted in all of our experiences.  Starved of its justification, we can see how it defies logic and the afflicted emotion will diminish on its own.  This is the real transformation - transformation of the belief and not the emotion.

The Meaning of Life - Ensue or Pursue?

Life itself has no meaning.  If there was, then we will all be homogenous beings doing the same job, having the same relationships and saying the same words.  It is we, as individuals, who give meaning to our own lives.  The philosopher Friedrich Nietszche best expressed this: "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how."  Another way to put it is we are here to define who we are in this world so that we can express ourselves in our own unique way.  Interestingly, such uniqueness actually allows us to be complementary to each other as we are all a part of the entire cosmic puzzle with no single piece to be missed.

There is, however, a paradox to this.  We are so used to pursuits and goal setting that often we are blindly searching for meaning in life, as if it is a commodity that can be sought.  Like happiness and success, the secret to finding meaning is to not search for it, but just let it happen as a by-product.  Since our consciousness is a stream with thoughts and ideas sprouting moment by moment, the meaning of life is also something that you can only capture here and now.  When you are engaging in activities you fully enjoy, embracing some fascinating experiences and connecting with people you love, the most satisfying forms of meaning will naturally arise.  Plus, of course, the side-effect of happiness.