Life is about decisions. And the life that will unfold in front of you is the outcome of a whole series of decisions that you have made. Many parenting books teach us how to guide our children to make good decisions through a systematic thought process. But in reality, there is really no good or bad decisions but only conscious or unconscious. And this is not referring to banal or mundane matters, but rather the beliefs we have adopted and the associated feelings. Even if it is something that we seem to reject, it could well be an unconscious choice of ours to make us feel protected and safe. For instance, if we cling onto our fear as a result of what we believe in, it could in fact be a mechanism for us to stay alert and fend off perceived danger. Or if we internalise our anger, we might have a better chance to be a disciplined and good person.
So before you start to dismiss your "bad" feelings or look for ways to transform them, think mindfully whether you truly want to eliminate them. Are they of value to you because they are your defence mechanism? Only through understanding of the reasons for their existence and how they no longer serve you, you can really part with them - with friendliness.
No comments:
Post a Comment