Dis-ease

If we are to date back the word to its French origin, disease means "lack of ease". Obviously, it suggests an absence of harmony within the body.  The innate intelligence of the body is unable to function optimally and bring it to homeostasis.  (Homeostasis is the tendency of the body to maintain balance and equilibrium within its internal environment by physiological processes.)  However, one thing from which we must rise above is the approach to disease treatment: the symptoms is never the cause of the dis-ease.  For instance, high blood pressure indeed could be dangerous because it makes the heart work harder to pump blood out to the body.  If untreated, it could lead to hardening of the arteries, stroke or even heart failure.  But would it be sufficient just take medication, eat a healthier diet with less salt or quit smoking if you are a smoker?  Sure all these will help.  But in all honesty, what is creating a build-up of inner pressure?  What are the feelings not being expressed?  And is the person suffering really clear on what he is stressful or anxious about?

The human body is largely influenced by what goes on in the mind.  If true healing is to take place, we have to revert to the root cause and deal with what is going on at the mental level (thoughts), which always pairs up with its emotional counterpart (feelings).  This is why we have to cultivate self-awareness so that we can understand our mind and challenge ourselves on what we are believing.  And more importantly, how such beliefs handicap us and therefore manifest themselves as dis-ease.  Physical treatments are undeniably vital and necessary, but they are tools and mechanism at best.  We need to be targeting at the right object - our mind. 

What is Self-Love?

A lot of people understand self-love as coddling yourself or giving oneself freedom to indulge.  But is that it?  Such a behaviour will easier give a person an excuse to perform selfish acts at the expense of others. This is not to say that we should be sacrificial and only do things for the benefits of others thus dismissing one's personal needs.  Rather, we need to know what true compassion is to oneself so that we can express our compassion to others authentically in the same way.  Self-compassion is about developing self-acceptance and embracing every facet of you - rain or shine, good or bad, light or dark.  It is about adopting a forgiving and non-judgemental attitude towards yourself with a simple reminder of what I call the "7As": Awareness, Admitting, Acknowledging, Accepting, Allowing, Affection and Appreciation.  And indeed, the same goes for  all of our relationships with others.  Things will always fall into place, one way or the other, but may not be in the exact way that complies with our wishful thinking.

Can you love yourself unconditionally no matter what?  If not, what is the starting point of the discussion of unconditional love?        

Parenting

We all have parents or are parents ourselves, but few can claim that they have no complaints in the relationship whichever side of the equation they are on.  The nature of the relationship is intricate and full of dilemmas.  It is also one which we can derive the greatest fulfilment, pain or regret.  Given the vulnerability and emotional immaturity of a growing person, he or she is subject to the most profound conditioning.  But the parents themselves are not to be spared, as the encounter with their own children often reopens old wounds and may possibly pour salt in them.  "Should" and "should-not" are often the key words used and sadly, whenever there is blame, we also miss the opportunity to heal.  The liability is never external.  No matter what the behaviour of the child is, we are distressed only because there is something triggered in us - an issue not entirely dealt with and subliminal.

If one says the eyes are the mirror of the soul, I would rather say your children's eyes are the mirror of your soul.