Quid Pro Quo

Quid Pro Quo is "This For That" in Latin, or simply put, an advantage or favour given to someone as a result of what is done by another.  "Give and Take", "You scratch my back, I scratch your back.", etc...have the same implication which are all to have an equal exchange.  Sadly, this kind of philosophy is adopted in a lot of personal relationships in our contemporary world.  However, in truly interdependent relationships where the parties involved are dependent on each other, having this way of thinking can be detrimental.

First of all, by choosing to take up such an idea means that we have entered the relationships with conditions.  Such conditions often come with our own pre-set attitudes and character traits, which will serve to be filtered lens on how we see the other person.  Secondly, what are considered as good behaviours and kind gestures are subject to one's individual needs and perception.  Some may want to be left alone to recharge or reflect when they are stressed, while others might want to engage with their loved ones.  So what is done by someone may be considered as something unnecessary or redundant by others.  Frequently, this will make one party feels unappreciated or disappointed when how he or she has behaved is not what the other person desires, hence leading to a sense of inequality.

One key factor to foster growth in relationships is that they are derived with a mutual intent for personal development, may it be emotional, mental or spiritual.  Another must-have is curiosity that enable you to let go of presumption and judgement.  And if you can spice it up with empathy that allows you to create the space to feel what the person truly needs, that would do the trick.

Possibility vs Probability

Uncertainty can be a double-edged sword.  On one hand, it can allow you to go with the flow and surrender to the present moment.  On the other hand, it can seduce you into a world of possibilities and that could mean worrying about chances of mishaps.  How does one make the discernment?  This is about completely accepting the truth that security is not a given.  If you know that it is a fact of our existence, then it is just like accepting that you are born with two eyes and four limbs, would you be thinking all the time on how to have the extra eye or hand?

Moreover, what you are experiencing externally in the outer reality is a mirror of your inner world including your thoughts, feelings and memories both at a conscious and unconscious level.  If that is the case, then you are entirely in charge of your inner movie and busy multi-tasking as the script writer, director and actor.  Are you interested in using your attention, energy and emotions on things that are most probable rather than just weakly possible?  We are all in the same electromagnetic field that allow us to be our own creators, let's use it to our greatest advantage.

The Uncertainty Principal

There can only be one reason why we want certainty in life -- to gain security.  This is also something that most left-brainers who are more inclined towards logic and reasoning would hold onto dearly.  After all, seeing is believing for them.  Now that science is catching up with spirituality, perhaps we can step into the void and see how science can shed light on this, well at least in a layman's way.

In quantum physics, the Uncertainty Principal was discovered by the German physicist Werner Heisenberg in 1927.  It states that the position and the velocity of an object cannot be measured precisely at the same time, even in theory.  An accurate measurement of one observable involves a relatively large uncertainty in the measurement of the other.  This completely nullifies the concept of exact position and exact velocity.  However, our ordinary experiences does not illustrate any clue to this as the uncertainties implies by this principal for ordinary objects are too small and minute to be observed.  This principal was derived from the fact that everything in the universe behaves both like a particle and a wave at the same time, and arises out of what is happening in the realm of subatomic dimension.  So I presume that for ordinary human beings this principal is not something that you can validate when someone cut your queue while you are paying at the supermarket.

Scientific jargons aside, since exactness can never be obtained in a subtle sense, what does it tell us about our mundane life?  What relevance does this have on the resistance that we often face day-to-day?  Well, this uncertainty seems to be so negligible that we have been blinded by the truth.  Electrons, or rather, any universal phenomena simply do not permit us to acquire knowledge of details beyond a certain level of approximation.  Yet, we spend most time in our lives insisting on knowing and knowing more.  The gravitation towards conclusions creates the loss of the presence when our mental resources are all invested in our search.  And if we cannot know the "not-knowable", we often live in fear and disillusion.

Treat the Uncertainty Principal as an invitation from the cosmos to accept and embrace the not-knowing.  After all, it is always easier to say "I don't know" when you really can't or not allowed to know.