Jealousy and Appreciative Joy

Jealousy is an emotion.  It is hard to find a human being who has never been jealous of someone one way or the other.  Innate in us, it has been observed in infants who are jealous of their siblings who are monopolising the attention of their parents.  So there is no need to feel ashamed even if you find yourself consumed by the fire of jealousy.  In fact, I encourage to use no effort at the beginning to dismiss or transform it.  Rather, be aware of how it feels in you.  Accept it.  Embrace it.  Connect with it.  Can you relate to that physiological response every time that jealousy is running in your circuit.  Are your criticisms justified?  Or is it a case of sour grape from less successful work of yours?  Are you pretending that you do not want it?  Or do you simply want to opt out of the game of comparison?

If you reflect on it, you may be able to find the chain of thoughts that precedes or follow this powerful emotion.  Almost in all situations, there is a feeling of insecurity coupled with inadequacy which then develop into anger and resentment of some sort.  It is a wake up call.  First and foremost, admit that you want what the others have whether it is a status, an achievement or material possession.  Then recognise that we can still be worthy of love from ourselves and others as long as we can look at our own uniqueness beyond the cultural definition of success.  Ultimately we want to aim at the goal of cultivating appreciative joy.  This is the wholesome attitude of rejoicing in the happiness and virtues of all, like a mother celebrating at the success of her son.  Will it take a reborn Mother Theresa to be able to do so.  Well, if you do not at least start with admitting to the fact that jealousy resides in you, then how can we ever practise and evolve?

The Four Immeasurables - True Love & Happiness

True happiness cannot be achieved in isolation but when we can relate to others. When one person is happy, there is always a ripple effect and an impact on others.   It is seldom that you can find a heartless loner who is genuinely happy.  With such understanding, the Four Immeasurables in Buddhism can help us lay a solid foundation to cultivate true love and happiness.  But regardless of which religion or belief system you come from, these four pointers are probably the most practical ones to a more profound spiritual practice.  These are the cultivation of loving-kindness, compassion, appreciative joy and equanimity.  Immeasurable as there is literally no limit or boundary to how vast this practice can be and to who we can target.

To begin with, can we practise loving-kindness by loving not just our loved ones?  Can you really see and appreciate the virtues in all and be respectful to them?  (Well if not, can you try to at least see more good than bad qualities in someone?).  Once we have loving-kindness as the bedrock, one can easily develop the precious attitude of compassion as you will naturally want others to be free from suffering.  After all, don't we all share the same objective of being happy?  The third one is cultivating appreciative (or altruistic) joy - to be delightful at the happiness or success of others, regardless of who they are.  The fourth one is equanimity.  As we have mentioned earlier that everyone seeks happiness, we need to cultivate the ability to be even-minded towards everyone no matter how they have become.  Such freedom of strong reactions can also free us from our pride and our self-grasping nature.

We cannot let our dualistic knowledge and experiences obscure our primordial nature anymore - one that is pure, clear and pristine.  The development of the Four Immeasurables may not happen overnight, but there is at least one person that we should conscientiously apply them on - yourself.

Perfection

Perfection is a concept, and so is its contrary
For what is perfect can only exist against what is imperfect
For what is flawless is only meaningful when there are flaws
It can only be relative but with no limits to its reference
To chase after perfection is to chase after limitless goals
The day we can accept what is and abandon all things relative
Is a day that we can breath in the fresh air of joy and freedom