Memories - the Map is not the Territory

Humans have struggled to define what memory is.  Our brains are too intricate and complex for us to use contemporary science to truly crack the code.  Some say that memory is the the modification of behaviour by experience.  But is it true?  How often do you really change your behaviour (hopefully for the better) based on what you have learned from the past?  Alternatively, the American neurophysiologist Ralph W. Gerard advocates that memory has to make an impression by an experience and that some record of this impression is retained for the re-entry of this record into consciousness.  In other words, it includes some kind of encoding, storage and retrieval.  But is it a 100% foolproof process?  Or do we all confabulate to a certain extent?

A lot of our memories are put together like a patchwork tapestry composed of snippets or episodes wth associated emotions on the experiences or images.  And the emotions that allow us to anchor to these memories are primarily based on our perception and often the result of our distorted reality.  Like those funhouse mirrors in carnivals, it is very far off from an accurate representation of the true picture.  But what it is true is its reflective function of your mind, which is where the distortion comes from.

Plus, if the present moment is what we only have in the here and now, how would memories serve us?  Not to mention that they could be fake?

Spiritual Bypassing

Spiritual bypassing is a term coined by American psychologist John Welwood some 30 years ago when people use spiritual beliefs and practices to avoid dealing with their painful feelings or unresolved emotional wounds.   Frequently they use the goal of  "enlightenment" to cut themselves off from reality, hoping that this will limit their exposure to potential negativity.

In its purest sense, spirituality can only lead to greater connection with ourselves, with the community, and eventually with the divine source.  Yet for the spiritual bypassers, the dismissal of one's own feelings, states and conditions often accentuate the gap with the outside world.  Their justification of practising the so-called ultimate truth might disparage or dismiss human needs and engagement.

And this is not just a phenomenon, sidestepping their own issues could be hazardous in multiple ways: 1) Feeding one's pride or putting the self on moral high ground and assuming superiority.  2) Projecting our deep yearnings upon others or acting out the wounding in other ways. 3) Difficulty in developing true compassion because one fails to cultivate empathy or relate to other members in the society.  4) Manifesting the repressed pain or suffering in a physiological way when there is no outlet.

While we are here to respect individuality, we are not so different from each other after all.  This is true whether we see it from the point of our basic human needs or  biological makeup in a scientific way.  Whatever way you choose to live, the interdependency and interconnectedness of the universe is an undeniably fact.  As human beings, we are born to bond and attach before we can learn to detach.  Otherwise, the oneness which is so often labelled on the foreheads of some new age practitioners will become a fallacy.

EmBODYment - Let Your Body Speak

There are a great number of modalities from both the Eastern and Western teachings that help us to get connected with our thoughts and emotions.  But many of them stay at a cognitive level which might require a seasoned practitioner to bring it down to a more solid experience.  So often we have heard people saying "Speak up your mind!"  But what about your body?  Your body is the most complicated machine that works day in day out, 24/7, carrying out your commands.  But have you given this biomachine with 37.2 trillion cells a chance to speak?  Is that stiffness at your neck when you are having a fight with your partner or that lower back pain when you are worrying about money a mere coincidence?  Your body is the messenger of your soul the way Hermes is the messenger of Zeus.  At least, there are some profound "traits" that are similar: quick, intelligent, clever, loyal and faithful.

If you still find this a foreign idea, try this: Find a quiet environment and close your eyes.  Use your breath to stay present.  Be totally aware of any physical contact you might have with the chair if you are sitting down, or with the environment.  Think of an incident that you are happy or sad about, but just let it appear without analysing or judging it.  Now with curiosity, see what your physical sensations are.  (Are there any elevated heart rate?  Pulsations? Twitches?)  Do you have any feelings coming up?  How about images?  Or thoughts?

Such an ability to pay attention to ourselves is our body sense.  Instead of thinking about yourself, you are truly feeling yourself.  It is this engagement and spontaneity that allow us to live in the present moment, and open the door to physical and mental health.

Fight, Flight or FREEZE

Most people have heard of the fight or flight response which occurs when we are under threat.  And those who understand such a response know that one will either fight against the adverse situation, or outrun it if you view the antagonistic force as too powerful to apprehend.  But studies from neurologists and psychologists are adding a new dimension to this field, and have provided great insights on the topic.  It is the freeze response which takes place when a situation confronting an individual is beyond one's coping capabilities.  That is, one will paralyse in fear.  This reaction is by default what we have concluded within seconds and heartbeats (if not less).  Thanks to our animal instinct from the part of our triune brain referred to as the reptilian brain.  (The other two parts are the limbic brain who governs our emotions and the neocortex conferring the ability for thought, perception and reasoning.)

That said, it is almost as if we were like animals experiencing attacks and we are going through panic and horror (anyone who has watched NatGeo with a lion chasing  a baby gazelle will have some ideas on what this is all about).  We being bio-animals are really in a pretty helpless state at the mercy of our autonomic nervous system.  But what is worrying is whether we are aware of this automated response of ours and know how to release it.  Animals do!  They involuntarily shudder and shiver after their immobilisation as a way to heal their "post-trauma".  But how about us humans?  We may be able to numb ourselves by being physically, mentally or emotionally immobilised, and may even choose to dissociate with the experience unconsciously afterwards.  But it is still solidly embedded in our nervous system waiting for you to embrace it one day and have it healthily discharged.  Unless we are able to thaw out what was frozen, may it be fear, anxiety or panic,  our day-to-day life will provide the triggers for those emotions to become "fresh" and alive, with the cycle beginning over and over again.

Maybe it is time for you to check the sell-by dates of any residual energy that no longer serves you anymore.

(For those who are interested in finding out more about the variety of trauma release methods, please refer to publications by trauma experts Peter Levine and Robert Scaer.)