T-R-A-U-M-A

Trauma -- The Real Awakening Unmasking My Astoundment

I have learned so much about trauma the past few months that I have cultivated a relationship with myself at another level.  I feel that there is a part of me that has re-entered my life, a part that was so tender, so raw, so authentic and yet so denied by me.  I had always understood trauma in quite a shallow way.  I have never experienced physical abuse, have never survived a natural disaster, nor attacked by terrorists.  So why would I be traumatised?  I thought.  If your understanding of trauma is like the past me, then may I take the liberty to clarify it here.  Here is a more precise definition of trauma championed by neurologist Robert Scaer: "Trauma is defined as any negative life event that occurs in a position of relative helplessness".  Now, don't we all have some of these happenings?  From a pacifier not being put in our mouth fast enough when you were a crying toddler, to that vicious bully constantly picking on you when you were at primary...

The key is, we are not here to dissociate with or to detach from trauma, but rather to embrace and engage with it wholeheartedly. It could be the biggest awakening from your reality.  

No trauma, No life; Know trauma, Know life.

Free Will

In 1985 neuroscientist Benjamin Libet did a controversial experiment by wiring up subjects to an EEG machine measuring brain activities via electrodes.  He then asked them to perform a simple hand movement when they felt like it.  He also got them to record the time of which they made a conscious decision to move their hands.  Disconcertingly Libet found that the brain activities initiating the hand movement occurred hundred of milliseconds before the conscious decision was reported.  Does that really imply that the subjects became aware of such a conscious decision only after it had already been made?  Does that mean that human behaviour is controlled by neurobiology and environment, and that free will does not exist?  What about more complex decisions that requires logic and reasoning?  Can there be any counteraction, albeit micro, that may offset such decisions?

There are indeed too many loopholes in past studies that renders this a highly debatable topic.  And the subject of whether free will exists or not will remain a philosophical quagmire.  But does it matter whether we can actually "prove" free will?  What matters is whether you BELIEVE that you have the free will rather than you have it or not.  The crux of the matter is, are you "free", and hence having the freedom on how you relate to events, outcome and actions?  Believing you are "free" naturally leads us to act as though we are, and our attitudes and mindset are the agent of change.  As the French mathematician Descartes succinctly put it: "I think therefore I am."  But I would rather be in control of my thoughts and say, "I AM therefore I think."

Being Whole

The market is flooded with self-help books nowadays, often preaching positivity and "laws"  on how you can attract what you desire.  The thing is, if you are committed to what these books are trying to disseminate, you may realise that they do work and you do get you what you want!  Yet is this all?  Leading a positive mindset and a wish-fulfilling life?

Well this is at best only 50% of the equation.  With the way that we are raised and how we perceive the world, anything related to "pain, "suffering", ""shadow" etc generally have a negative connotation and are denied by the society, and worse still, ourselves.  We are so deeply conditioned into believing that negative emotions and experiences should be compartmentalised, perhaps even controlled, suppressed, repressed or exiled.

Being positive does not equate to being whole and authentic.  Rather, wholeness is achieved by embracing whatever emotions and feelings that arise in us.  As the title of Mark Epstein's book suggests,  it's by "Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart".  Fulfilment through feeding and strengthening our ego can only lead to more dissatisfaction, and hence, suffering.

Freedom 201

Meaning of Freedom: "The power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants" (Oxford Dictionary)

But I am not talking about freedom defined in a conventional way, rather it is inner freedom in a spiritual sense that is taking centre stage here.  So how does this alternative definition relate to this inner freedom that I am referring to?

We feel trapped and inhibited not because we cannot say what we want or do what we wish in an external way.  Rather, we are enslaved when we do not create the space for ourselves.  We need to allow our own bodies to slow down, our inner voice to speak up, and our innermost thoughts to uncover.  This is real freedom.  We are never just our personae, and there is so much more in us than the social facade.  Yet we tend to be so deeply conditioned by people around us the moment we bid farewell to our umbilical cord, luring us to believe that is who we are.

Do yourself, your cells, your psyche a favour by claiming back your authenticity.  And the first step?  Be vulnerable.

Freedom 101

Who doesn't want to be happy?  From a screaming baby to a frail old man, and there is certainly one thing in common with them: their deepest yearning to be happy and be free from suffering.  But what does happiness bring us?  Is it a sense of fulfilment, a feeling of bliss or an adrenaline high?  Ask a thousand people and you will have more than a thousand answers, but one thing is generic in mankind -- the underpinning desire to be free.  So maybe after all it is more freedom that we are desperately seeking for rather than happiness. 

If a sprinkle of pixie dust can really bring you magic, what would you ask for?  Whether you want a great relationship, loads of good fortune, a successful career, eternal youth or a bar of chocolate, it boils down to being able to choose what you want to do and how you want your true self to be.

If so, how about starting to create the choices right now and right at this instant?  Perhaps at the very least by changing your mindset and attitude as a first step...